Starch Enemy Lyrics

"They don't taste very nice...they just taste bitter. They haven't gone into the fryer, have they?"
"No, no, no."
"You sure you haven't put them in the fryer?"
"Yep."

"Uh, look, mister, let me just have a quick word. Very, very important. This man is paying your salary. His business is about to close. Do you understand how critical the situation is?"
"I do."
"So pay the man fucking respect and tell the truth. You have deep fried those potatoes."
"They've been from the oven, not deep fried."
"They are wrinkled, dehydrated, and they've been in the deep fat fryer!"
"That-that's not dehydrated."
"You're talking to a chef, and for as long as I've got a hole in my butt big boy, those fucking potatoes have been in the deep fat fryer! Don't fucking lie."
"I KNOW what I did."
"You know the oven's not even HOT enough to roast a potato, we can't even cook a FUCKING burger in there! They've been in the fryer. Tell the fucking truth!"
"Look, they went in the oven, okay?"
"Tell him the fucking truth."

(He's so adamant, I've even started to doubt my own judgment, until I tracked down Al Samar.)

"How many trays of potatoes did you fry this morning?"
"I fried everything here."
"You fried all four? And who told you to fry them?"
"My chef."
"Your chef, yeah..."

"Why did you deep fry those potatoes?"
"You said this earlier, it's because the oven is nowhere near hot enough."
"Right...can we get back to basics now and cut the fucking crap?"

-Excerpt taken from Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Series 2, Episode 2: "D-Place"