Wither

For what seems like the thousandth time
I’m searching to feel something, anything, everything, or nothing at all (tell me what is real)

I’ve lost all sense of direction
I’ve become consumed by this infection

Grasping at straws
I’ve begun to tell myself it’s just an inherent flaw
These wayward memories
Normality is nothing but a fantasy

Holding on, but breaking down
You’re letting on, and taking it out on me
Evaporate, someone else can take my place
The same old song, stuck on repeat
For far too long, signal defeat
Waiting to wither, just longing to dissolve

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have certainty
This doubt, it secures it’s grip without my knowing
I long for just a single moment of relief
Will I ever find piece?

(Can you help me find my way?)
Did you ever expect to find me in this room locked inside my mind?
(Don’t listen if I’m begging you to stay)
I beg you to leave behind what I have shown
Before you, too, become trapped inside this hell

We find ourselves bleeding dry
By the choices and the promises we made
So, tell me, am I right to verify
That this will be the last light in your eyes?
All the love I have shown, all the love I have felt
Will it ever be enough to save me from this hell?

Holding on, but breaking down
You’re letting on, and taking it out on me
Evaporate, someone else can take my place
The same old song, stuck on repeat
For far too long, signal defeat
Waiting to wither, just longing to dissolve

Can you help me find my way?
Don’t listen if I’m begging you to stay