Silentium Lyrics

Swimming through floods of tears
Rays of anguish pounding me.
My will to live diminishes with each wave of affliction
That breaks my weakened existence
It bothers me to know that I have been here before
I assured myself that I'd never return to this solitary site
Believing I was rescued once and for all
I thought it was a lesson I could learn
But somehow I'm back here
At the reunion of repressed memories
Caught in the vicious circle of self-oppression
Anxiety, fear, and uncontrollable thoughts

The cold water numbs my limbs; I'm losing focus again
Trying desperately to remember the details of my last rescue
Clinging to the hope of finding the safe rocks again
The light from the lighthouse flickers once more
And dies as the demons of death are closing in

Overrating my capacities, denying the weakness of my flesh
I tried too hard and fell, slipped down the slippery cold rocks
And now I'm back into the relentless sea

Lies are caging me
Hatred, bitterness, and self pity
Why this injustice?
Or am I too blind to see the outcome of my actions?

I hate me for not trusting You
I hate that I let them get to me
Why do I have to be here at all?
You are my Lord regardless of my feelings
Rescue my again
Pull me up, and let me dry
Place my feet on the rock, and let me see the
Sunshine once more