Father Time (Where Are You Now) Lyrics

Father Time, where are you?
We are lost and so alone...
We need your assistance so please answer your phone
Why did you become such a needy, stubborn jerk
Who won't show up for new years eve instead in the shadows you lurk?

So let's go down together and we'll find that stupid man
Who thinks it's more important to get drunk and get a tan
And if you think I'm crazy just because the way I sing
Well, that's just how this stupid song begins

Father Time was working late one cloudy, stormy night
The bell would never ring and Father Time
Would not give up a fight
Sandman did his job just like the others at this time
At least that's what our Father Time believed, oh what a rime

Mrs Time was waiting at her home that Christmas eve
Alone and shattered by the darkest night she could not see
Sandman came on by to give her sleep and pleasant dreams
"Oh no Sandman! No more sleep inside my head,
Now get your ass down to the bed!"

Father Time, where are you now?
The darkest of hours is passing us by, so
Father Time, where are you now?
It's time for another new year

"Honey, I'm home!"

Then when Father Time arrived two hours late that night
The bedroom door was open and what did he have insight?
Mrs Time and Sandman making babies on the bed
Oh boy, you should have seen his eyes turn red

Screaming like a maniac he ran into the room
Took his rifle, aimed and fired off a BOOM!
Bleeding man was running all around the house in pain
"Oh no, Sandman!
Get your ass back here! I'm gonna paint
My walls with your brain!"

Father Time, where are you now?
The darkest of hours is passing us by, so
Father Time, where are you now?
It's time for another new year

And when the Santa bastard came around through the
Chimney down, He saw a bleeding, dying man
And Father Time with a rifle in his hand
Oh, what a tragedy, when Santa came
Ruined all his plans to hide Sandman's body away
I mean, who wants to get caught by the cops?
We need our Father Time to ring in the new year in time

No Mr Sandman, well that's okay
Who wants to sleep anyway?
But Father Time must be around
Oh, and Santa's body was also never found

Father Time had to kill Santa and his reindeer's
Holy Crime, no good will, Time has gone insane here

Now the story's over and we all can celebrate that
Father Time is back again 'cause he killed the man he hates
Mrs Time has left him for that diaper Cupid guy
"Oh no, Cupid! Mrs Time is mine forever,
Your a stupid son of a...eh...whatever!

Father Time, where are you now?
The darkest of hours is passing us by, so
Father Time, where are you now?
It's time for a new year

Father Time, here are you now
The darkest of hours will not pass us by, so
Father Time, have one more beer!
It's time for another new year!
It's time for another new year!

Happy New Year to you all...