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Post-Apocalypto Full Album Lyrics

Tenacious D - Post-Apocalypto cover art


TypeAlbum (Studio full-length)
GenresHard Rock, Comedy Rock
Album rating :  –
Votes :  0
Lyrics > T > Tenacious D Lyrics (21) > Post-Apocalypto Lyrics (21)
Submitted by level 21 Eagles (2018-10-16)       Last modified by level 21 Eagles (2018-11-04)
End of the world
Searching for that special girl
She is the last one in the world

End of the line
This is our time to shine
Tenacious D has got to shine
2. desolation (1:17)
[JB:] Desolation
[JB:] Dude… Oh my god…
[KG:] Where are we?
[JB:] Oh my god… what have we done do Mother Earth?
[KG:] Well we didn't do anything, did we?
[JB:] Humanity Kage… humanity. What have we done to Mother Earth?
[KG:] Oh the horror…
[JB:] The what?
[KG:] Oh the horruh
[JB:] What?
[KG:] The horruh-huh-huh
[JB:] Are you doing…
[KG:] Marlon Brando… from Apocaly-
[JB:] This is no time for fucking imitations
[KG:] Sorry
[KG:] What did we get into?
[JB:] We will survive
[KG:] We will?
[JB:] Yeah… with our wits… and our friendship… and our Rock. We will find a way… we will survive. Whoa look at that… it's a cute little two-headed doggy
[KG:] Oh-ho, can we keep him? Look how cute…
[JB:] Of course we can. We will name him… Hope
3. HOPE (1:59)
Hope is a doggy
A sweet doggy
Standing next to a rose
A flower grows in the soil
There's still hope for life to exist
For us to survive
To thrive and survive
And find a way to live our lives
And live through this nuclear holocaust
Let's get it on

How will we survive?
With a little luck
And patience
And know-how
And love
We will survive
The nuclear holocaust
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

We will survive
And we will thrive
Must stay alive and we will strive
To make it to the top of the mountain
There shall be dragons and there shall be gorgons
There shall be many beasts with no name
Our trust doggy will be there to save the day
Hope will find a way
Hope will find a way
4. cave women (1:26)
[Cave Woman:] Weary travelers!
[KG:] Hello?
[Cave Woman:] Hello!
[KG:] Who goes there?
[Cave Woman:] We are the clan… of the cave bear women
[KG:] What?
[Cave Woman:] We see you there. Drink not of that fountain… of filth!
[KG:] Wh-
[Cave Woman:] It be the sewage… of the drain
[KG:] Sewage!?
[Cave Woman:] Come with us
[KG:] Fuck…
[Cave Woman:] We shall offer you the water from the purest springs… come follow us
[KG:] Ah!
[JB:] Thank you. Oh my god…
[KG:] Dude, that's so insane. Man…
[JB:] Dude, human beings!
[KG:] I can't believe it!
[JB:] We found human beings! Follow her, follow her…
[KG:] I know… she's kind of hot too…
[JB:] C'mon… Kyle… please…
[KB:] No! I'm just saying…
[JB:] Some respect…
[KB:] Okay, yeah, yes
[Cave Woman:] We've prepared for you meals… and then we suggest you rest. Your weary souls must be tired
[KG:] Oh… we are so tired
[JB:] Thank you so much… Oh, I'm so fucking tired dude. You know what, I'mma… I'mma take her up on that offer and take a…
[KG:] Yeah…
[JB:] Take a quick power snooze…
[KG:] Ah… I'm tired…

[JB:] Oh dude, I had the best dream…
[KG:] Oh yeah?
[JB:] Yeah…
[KG:] What was it?
[JB:] Some beautiful woman was givin' me a beej…
[JB:] Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho…
[JB:] Oh my god… Oh my god! That's no dream! It's happening… ho, hello, um… hi… that's a pleasant surprise… that feels good… I do not know… um… can you stop stop for a second? I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little…
5. MAKING LOVE (2:56)
Relax JB
We'll be alright

Go with it, don't be afraid
We are your friends and more
It's important that we fuck right now
So let your penis explore
Repopulation is the name of the game
We need to fuck you right away
This is no time for being shy
Let us have your seed today

C'mon JB, they just wanna fuck
Just give em whatchya got
You're fuckin' bringin' down the mood
You gotta use that fuckin' cock

Oh no, I'm feeling so vulnerable
Not ready to give you my load
I do not really know you
Not sure if I can trust you with my heart
You might break my heart
I can't give you my load, if I don't feel safe

Look at Kyle, he's got the idea, that's it Kage, see?
He knows

Suck his fingertips, lick his ear hole
Suck his toes, and lick his butthole
Suck his balls, obviously his cock
Sit on him make him explode

Excuse me, hello

My name is Conchita and I'm also painfully shy
I do not like orgies unless I'm incredibly high
I know we just met but please hold me as tight as a glove
I cannot have sex unless I am completely in love

Making love, making love, making love, making love
Making love, making love, making love
Making love, making love, making love, making love
Making love, making love, making love
6. scientists (1:17)
[Scientist:] Stay where you are!
[KG:] Ah! Oh… I'm sorry? What?
[Scientist:] We have laser blaster pistols. We will shoot you and kill you to the ground
[KG:] We don't mean any harm. We come in peace
[Scientist:] Stay where you are where I can see your hands
[KG:] Wait, where are you from?
[Scientist:] Where are we from… We are from MIT. Where else? We are the top uttermost scientists in all of the world… surviving… Anyway, we are putting the finishing touches this uh… this spaceship because there is a… um… what you call a space station in space that is called a Valhalla… it is very huge…
[KG:] Valhalla. Hm…
[Scientist:] … very spacious… so much fun to do and things to do and uh…
[KG:] That's great!
[Scientist:] Oh-ho-ho. Let me tell you first who is up on the station before you start saying what you think is great… Richard Branson is up there… of course. Also you got Yo-Yo Ma up there, and only the finest and smartest and richest allowed on the space station, so…
[KG:] Please take us to space. Please, we are the best band in the world. We're way better than Yo-Yo Ma. Please let us audish…
[Scientist:] Well, you know… what the hell? Show us what you got. We'll see what you think of it. Blow… blow our minds, you never know!
[JB:] Alright Kage, you ready?
You gotta take us into space
We gotta save the human race
But first you gotta let us say goodbye

Goodbye mother earth, you served us well
Your rolling hills, your gorgeous lakes
You have been swell
Your fucking flowers, your fresh breeze
Your blue skies all day
Your twinkling stars, your northern lights
It's time to go away

Me and KG are going into space
And we are never coming home again
We're gonna miss you, we'll never kiss you
We're gonna go have lots of sex in space
Sex in space

Farewell my friend
We're to the earth again
We're gonna party with Elon Musk in space
Ah-ah-ha yeah
Richard Branson partying hard
We're gonna kick it with him
We're drink some space juice mixed with gin
Oh yeah

We're partying in space to save the human race
We're gonna have to shoot some goo
We're cumming in space
We're cumming inside of you
8. i've got to go (1:50)
[Scientist:] Wow! Um… I have to say I'm pretty impressed. Okay! Your lucky day Jack Black, you're getting on the ship. Kyle Gass, I'm sorry. You're not gonna make it too. We're not blaming you. We're gonna bring only half… and uh… that is the en-
[KG:] Wait… wait…
[Scientist:] I fucking shoot you now!
[KG:] No! Is there no room for two?
[Scientist:] You fucking… you fucking savage!
[KG:] No c'mon! We're a pair— team… we go together
[JB:] Dude! Fuck! This fucking sucks! He wants me, but not you? That's fucking bullshit!
[KG:] Wait… why would he just want one of us?
[JB:] Dude! Let me tell you something… let me tell you something right now
[KG:] Yeah, yeah?
[JB:] Fuck that guy. I'm gonna go, but here's…
[KG:] What!? You're gonna go?
[JB:] Now let me just tell you… let me tell you why I'm gonna go
[KG:] … and leave me down here? What am I supposed to do? With a fucking three-headed dog?
[JB:] Yeah, but I'm not fucking what he thinks I am. I'm going as a spy bro. I'm going in there. I'm gonna infiltrate— the revolush— the revolution starts from inside bro. I go in— hear me out. I go in. I fuckin' s-s-s-check out out the joint. I scope the joint. I figure out what makes them tick and then I fucking get you a ticket
[KG:] I don't like this plan
[JB:] I get you a ticket!
[KG:] Where are you gonna find me!? You're in space!
[JB:] Kage, I'm sorry. I've got to go!

[KG:] No! No! Don't go!
[KG:] Hope, come here boy. Hope… come here! Hope, where are you going?
[KG:] Hope, boy, come back! Come here! Hope!?
[KG:] I've lost Hope
9. FUCK YO-YO MA (1:34)
How could I leave KG all alone?
(He's never coming home)
As I rocket into space to my new home
(He's up there with the stars)
He will survive is what I tell myself
(He doesn't wanna be here)
I'm probably gonna jam with Yo-Yo Ma
Fuckin' Yo-Yo Ma
(I'm stuck here)

And then I'm gonna eat some ice cream
(He's never coming home)
Then I'm gonna have some sex
(Eating cat food alone)
I think of KG on the Earth all alone
My orgasm will be tainted
(Having sex with myself)

Explosion of my load
As I jam with Yo-Yo Ma
(Fuck Yo-Yo Ma)
It feels so good, my pecker wood
(His pecker wood)
But a tiny part of me is left behind
(He's up there with the stars)
10. reunion / not so fast (1:08)
[KG:] Yeah, I'm gonna commit suicide! In five, four, three, two…
[JB:] Don't even think about it bro
[KG:] Jack?
[JB:] Step away from the cliff
[KG:] You're back
[JB:] Yeah, lemme tell you something. That space station was pretty rad except for one thing. I was missing my bro
[KG:] You were?
[JB:] When we… started Tenacious D… we formed a bond… that's to the death…
[KG:] You did…
[JB:] I love you bro!
[JB:] A bond! Hug me and hold me!
[KG:] OK, I will. I will
[JB:] Kiss me on the lips...
[Daddy Ding Dong:] Not so fast!
[JB & KG:] Ahh!
[Daddy Ding Dong:] Great, now I have you all in my tentacles. Ahh, I'll begin with you and your little doggy. You are the one who killed my beloved daughter, Crackalacka Ding Dong. And now, you shall pay with your life. But first, I'm gonna sing you a song. It go a little bit something like this…
11. DADDY DING DONG (1:45)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 motherfuckers go

You motherfuckers was the ones who killed my baby
You motherfuckin' killed my baby
Crackalacka was my one and only baby
You killed her and it drove me crazy
You motherfuckin' dog, you motherfuckin' mutt
I'm gonna drink your gravy
You shit a fuckin' log, I bust a fuckin' nut
I fuckin' plow your daisy

I'll rip your head off, I'll suck on your dick
It feels good till I chew on your prick
Daddy Ding Dong comin' to town
I'm gonna fuck you up, I'm gonna fuck you around all night
I'm gonna fuck you tonight
I'm pure rage and hunger and evil
And I'm going to fucking kill you

Ah ha, oh oh

I'm fucking watching you
I'm fucking in the bush
I'm the Daddy Ding Dong

Daddy Ding Dong comin' to town
I'm gonna fuck you up, I'm gonna fuck you around alright
I'm gonna fuck you tonight
I'm pure rage and hunger and evil
And I'm going to fucking kill you
Prepare to die
12. chainsaw bazooka machine gun (1:00)
[Terminator:] That was my chainsaw bazooka machine gun! I killed the fucking father Daddy Ding Dong
[JB:] Yeah! Thank you!
[Terminator:] I know the coordinates. I will help you. I'm gonna be your best friend. I'm gonna be in the band…
[KG:] Yeah, I don't know if we can do that, but that's great…
[Terminator:] … I'm gonna be new lead singer of the band. I'm gonna write lyrics for you. It's gonna be Tenacious D with me. It's gonna be the best. We're gonna be the best. We're gonna be like brothers. We're gonna be The Three Musketeers
[KG:] … what? No, we can't accept you… No, we can do that… No we don't have any— No dude…
[JB:] Yeah… Nah. I mean a lot of that sounded good but uh… I don't know, it's just— I'm sorry to say it Terminator. You're just coming on a little strong. Me and KG are a duo. We're not really used to this. Uh, thank you for everything you've done
[KG:] We appreciate your help
[JB:] Thank you for the coordinates. This is where we part ways, but thank you for fucking everything you did. For saving our lives and all the rest. Thank you bro
[KG:] So much, so much
[Terminator:] Wait, wait. Before you go, I got this song I want to sing…
13. ROBOT (2:26)
I am a robot, naked and alone
Sent from the future to build a new home
Mission accomplished, find The D
Save them from Daddy Ding Dong
And... build a home... make it right... make it nice

Kill all the evil, and the Nazis
KKK, kill them all, dat what me must do

I am a robot, I am here alone
Just like a doggy, searching for his bone
Everyone sees me but no one understands
The feeling inside when I have an empty hand
No one will put me in their band
Cus everyone hates a robot
But I am such a good robot
I am not an evil robot understand
I am just a simple robot hold my hand
And one of these days, I’ll be a man
14. marCH (1:23)
March march march march...

We're marching for the cause of white salvation
We're marching for the KKK
We like barbecue and we like guns too
And we don't like gays

March march march march...

We're marching to secure the white ascension
We're marching to protect our sacred ways
In the USA you are not aloud to be gay
Anymore that's what the lore says

March march march march...
15. turd whistle (0:39)
[JB:] You fucking did it Kage
[KG:] Damn
[PB:] You used that green... that thing
[KG:] This crystal if fucking rad
[JB:] I'm a little scared of the power of it
[KG:] Well, we need it though
[JB:] Yeah. Okay Donald Jr, we're gonna have to uh, we're gonna have to take off now. We're taking the green thing and we're going to save the world. You're a piece of shit and you can go fuck yourself. Good luck surviving here without any of your Nazi's or any of your KKK. You fuckin' turd whistle
[Donald Trump Jr:] No, you guys. Don't leave me here. If you leave me here, I'm gonna fucking die. Before you guys go, I just wanna fuckin' sing you one song...
16. COLORS (2:20)
What was I thinking?
All this rage, it's the end of the world
Spreading my hatred
I must sound insane to every boy and every girl

Colors are the thing that make the world better
I've been seeing things in black and white
If we work together we can live forever
If we do it right tonight

Look at our oceans, whales have gone away
Corporations ran amok
Look at our planet, now just shades of grey
No one seems to give a fuck

And colors are the thing that make the world better
I've been seeing things in black and white
If we work together we can live forever
If we do it right tonight

And colors are the thing that make the world better
I've been seeing things in black and white
If we work together we can live forever
If we do it right tonight

'Cause fucking once again we'll call
We'll fucking get rich on you mothertrucking
And one last time, you're going to fucking die
17. who's your daddy? (0:48)
[JB:] This has been in a really bad way like—
[KG:] I don't like this
[JB:] This isn't— this is probably gonna be our toughest challenge of all
[KG:] It's insane
[JB:] I have an idea. Robot, attack! Take back the crystal!
[Jables Jr:] Oh man! Did I call you a shit head already? Good lord, you don't think that's part of the programming? Of course. Yeah. Hey robot, who— who— who's your daddy?
[Terminator:] You are. I'm sorry guys. I really came to like you over the last couple of weeks, but eh— he's right. It's built into my program
[Jables Jr:] Shut your fuckin' trap!
[Terminator:] Sorry guys. I can do nothing
[JB:] Robot...
[KG:] I guess this it
[Jables Jr:] I'mma torture you. And then I'mma kill ya. But before I begin the torture death, I'm gonna sing you a rad song based upon this current situation. Drop a beat Terminator…
18. JB JR RAP (1:31)
[Jables Jr:]

You see this here green crystal
It's call the Crystal of Gilgamesh
It crashed 12,000 years ago
Near the city known as Budapest
And he who holds the crystal
Is a motherfuckin' Fu Manchu
And now that I have the power
I'm gonna lord it over you
I'm like a god man
With the powers of the anti-Christ
Now beg me for forgiveness
Or you're gonna be sacrificed
My name is Jables Jr
I've got the power of a thousand suns
With the alien technology
Yeah, I'm the chosen one

Jamming out because I'm rocking
Rocking with my jam
Can't stop my jam, motherfucker
My fuckin' jam is the best jam in the world
Motherfucker, yeah
19. WOMAN TIME (1:23)
Stop right there
We're fucking taking the power
Woman time
The clock is striking the hour

We're gonna take your crystal ball and all its power
We're gonna crush your family jewels and watch you cower


I got chance
You set the planet on fire
Watch it burn
This is your funeral pyre

We're gonna take your crystal ball and all its power
We're gonna eat your Chinese food, sweet and sour

20. SAVE THE WORLD (0:44)
Save the world, save the world
You've got to save the world
Save the world
All the boys and girls
From around the world
You've got to save the world
Save the... world
Fight to prevail
If we fight we cannot fail
Got to find that holy grail

Fight to survive
Got to find some way to thrive
Don't you give us any jive
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