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Wendy O. Williams Ultrafly and the Hometown Girls - Deffest! and Baddest! cover art
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Albumpreview 

Deffest! and Baddest!

(1988)
TypeStudio Full-length
GenresRap Rock
LabelsProfile Records
Album rating :  -
Votes :  0
Lyrics > P > Plasmatics Lyrics (54) >

Deffest! and Baddest! Lyrics

(9)
Submitted by level Besi Karat
1. Rulers of Rock (3:14)
No false metal, no sucker raps, and no spandex
No false metal, no sucker raps, and no spandex
No false metal, no sucker raps, and no spandex
We're the rulers of rock
The rulers of power
And the jam of the hour
And the jam of the hour
And the jam of the hour
We're the rulers of rock
We're the rulers of the amps
The rulers of sound
We'll rock you so hard
We'll rock you right off the ground
We're the rulers of the riff
The rulers of the jam
Don't want no poseurs
Don't want no glam
'Cause we rock the hardest
Did you hear what I said?
We rock so loud
We can raise the dead
We're the rulers of rock
The top of the heap
Compared to us
The rest all look cheap
No false metal
No sucker raps
No sprayed hair
And no spandex
And no spandex

When we turn on
Our sound
No one
Can stay in the dumps
All the soft rockers
Are a bunch of chumps
Like crash of lightening
A megawatt jolt
We electrify
We deliver the volts
We're the proud
To be loud crowd
The mothers of thrills
We go right to the heart
No delay and no frills
We drive a fleet of bulldozers
Into your town
When we come to rock
We level it to the ground
We're the rulers of force
The rulers of power
We're the rulers of rock
And the jam of the hour
No false metal
No sucker raps
No sprayed hair
And no spandex
We rule the arenas
The halls and the malls
We make the suckers and poseurs
Two feet tall
Like a wrecking ball
You know we rock you all
We are in your face
We rock the human race
On Venus and Mars
They rock to our verse
We're the rulers of rock
We rock the universe
We're the rulers of force
The rulers of power
The rulers of rock
And the jam of the hour
2. $10,000,000 Winner (3:34)
Socrates, Plato
And Eva Gabor
Called a meeting
To stop the next war
Judge Wopner was chosen
As the judge
To intervene
In the serious grudge
The problem started
When a geezer named Steve
Got a call
It was his last reprieve
Steve ran a house
Of ill repute
But his ladies split
With the loot
He was not ready to rock
And not ready to jam
But when the phone rang
It was Ed McMahon
You've seen me on TV
And you know who I am
I've come to lay 10,000,000
In your hand
You're rich said Ed
You're super rich
And you can do what you want
Without a hitch
Steve met Suzanne
Who was a virgin
They took a jet to Paris
To a plastic surgeon
Said the surgeon I can make you
A world wide attraction
You can get yourself done
Like Michael Jackson
Or Elizabeth Taylor
Or stuffed like Trigger
Or whatever else you want to do
With your figure
Said Steve I want the best
I want the best from TV
I want to be the most stud
I want to be me
And the same for Suzanne
Do you understand?
She must be the most fly
Ever known to man
So with a digital sampler
He sampled the best
He created composites
That out did the rest
A model for Steve
And one for Suzanne
The most superior beings
Ever known to man
Then for two long weeks
They were under the knife
The surgeon worked days
And into the nights
Suzanne's breasts were enlarged
Her stomach was flattened
New DNA
Skin smooth as satin
And on Steve's manhood
The doc did no skimp
Steve's muscles made
Schwarzenneger look like a wimp
Injected, implanted the results
Did astound
It turned out so large
It nearly dragged on the ground
They put out an album
And rock stars they became
And for their careers
They took on new names
He became "Driller"
And she became "Killer"
In the first two weeks
They sold more than "Thriller"
But one problem remained
Since they'd been
With the surgeon
Suzanne, you see,
Was still a virgin
The cause of the problem
Was in Steve's thing
It was so awesome in size
He could not get it in
They were true to each other
Tho' it may sound corny
But pumped with hormones
They were dangerously horny
When out on the stage
And the fly girls were screaming
It was all Steve could do
To keep from creaming
One night in Hamburg
Where the hip did meet
A fly girl jumped the stage
And delivered a treat
She ripped off her shirt
And began dancing around
Security had to wrestle
Her to the ground
It was already too late
Steve has busted his trousers
The cops arrived with
Some doberman bowsers
The crowd screamed at Steve
An amazing sight
The whole place erupted
In a terrible fight
When the dust cleared
Things were real tense
His brains were real clouded
He was acting real dense
Will all his money
He owned some
Nuclear weapons
He now stood poised
With his hand on the button
The politicians were all
In an uproar
Most were afraid Steve
Would start the next war
Without some good thinking
The world would be doomed
The surgeon raised
Socrates and Plato
From the tomb
With Eva Gabor
And judge Wopner too
They all flew to Hamburg
To see what they could do
With steroids and hormones
And tranquilizer gun
They pulled out the stops
And ended Steve's run
Suzanne was upset
But helped by the surgeon
And by all accounts
She's no longer a virgin
She got a job in his lab
First as a cover
But one thing led to another
And now she's his lover
3. Super Jock Guy (3:04)
Say you like my eyes
Want to feel my thighs
Want to make me sigh
'Cause you think I'm fly
But let me tell you why
You won't taste my pie
'Cause you're just a guy
Who casts his eye
When any tart walks by
With her skirt held high
And isn't shy
To share her pooch
Or whip some skull
On any jock who thinks he's
King of the hill
Has money to burn
And just wants his turn
With any skeezer
Who is a man pleaser
But you'll never get
Any ass with class
And you'll never get down
With the major brass
You will never find
'Cause you are not def
And you are not cool
And any true fly girl
Knows you're a fool
And the act you play
Is as old as Tut's mummy
Would only work an a skeezer
With the brains as a dummy
You say you're mister big
I say you're mister smallyou
Put your name up in lights
I'm not impressed at all
You rented a hotel room
By mistake I went in it
Your friends look like rejects
From the Betty Ford clinic

I'll do work for you
Only in your dreams
But I know when you see me
You cream your jeans
But I can't be bought
For any price
So if you take my advice
Put your johnny on ice
But that's the price you pay
Mister super jock guy
'Cause the superior talent
Will always pass you by
And you'll never ever know
What it's like
The hottest, the tightest
The tighter than tight
You've got dozens of girls
Early or late
But I won't be
The next piece of meat
On your plate
So if you're thinking of me
And you need a date
Save me the aggravation
Stay home and masturbate
'Cause super jock guys
Are too little too late
And true fly girls know
They just don't rate
4. Early Days (3:51)
I lived in Detroit
And I lived in LA
In Houston and Boston
And San Jose
I slept in the Hilton
I slept on the curb
I lived in the cities
And in the suburbs
I was born in the Bronx
19 years ago
My mother was a roadie
For an acid rock show
My old man went to 'Nam
I never saw him alive
And my mother started living
With a guy named Clive

Clive was a con
That was on the lamb
But Clive could
Cut and scratch
And we used to jam
And so at 9 years
I was already rappin'
But that ain't nothin'
Let me tell you
What happened
(ooh... ah)
We jammed all day
And we jammed all night
But the noise from the crowd
Put the neighbors uptight
They showed Clive's picture
On the news one day
The building super
Called the cops
They took old Clive away

But I made every jam
And I just wouldn't stop
'Cause I knew I could
Make my way
Right to the top
I had a friend at school
His name was Fred
Fred was on drugs
And now Fred is dead
(ooh... ah)

All the guys at school liked
Brenda and Sue
They had so many friends
They didn't know what to do
It seems every night
They all got laid
Now them and their friends
They all got AIDS
(ooh... ah)

Meanwhile I'd draw a crowd
Whereever I'd be
To everyone in my school
I was the number 1 MC
In the bathrooms and the halls
And out in the street
We'd rap and jam
Wherever we'd meet
When I was fourteen
My mother moved in with a banker
Fred had plenty of money
But Fred was a wanker
He had sweaty palms
And a nervous glance
And when my mother was away
He tried to get into my pants
They had the... of the night
When I was out rappin'
But that ain't nothin'
Let me tell you what happened
My mother one day
Was taking a nap
And Fred said 'Hey, why don't you
Come sit on my lap?'
I said 'I don't do it with wankers'
He said 'Gimme a chance'
A wanker is a jerk
Whose got his brains in his pants
(ooh... ah)

My mother saw the light
On one fateful day
When Fred was caught in a raid
Where wankers pay to play
They caught him in flagrento
At the Bristol hotel
If you don't know where that's at
You have to ask LL
Meanwhile they were comin'
From miles around
Diggin' my jam
And gettin' down
From number one in the state
To number one in the nation
The deffest the baddest
Number one of creation
5. The Humpty Song (2:57)
When you're up you're up
When you're up you're up
When you're up you're up
And when you're down you're down
When you're up you're up
And when you're down you're down
When you're up you're up

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall
Mary walked by Humpty took a fall
He was slippery into Mary's clam
Mary had a little lamb

When you're up you're up
And when you're down you're down
And when you're down you're down

Do you mash potatoes
Do you do the twist?
Do you like to get down
Do you do it like this?
Ernest asked Chante
If he could taste her yam
She said it's sweet and good
And you know you can

Meanwhile on the news
There was a large group of rats
They rounded up people
Wearing cowboy hats
They brought them into town
And put on a display
The rat population
Made money that way

When you're up you're up
And when you're down you're down
And when you're down you're down

In Silver Creek Utah
At the nuclear dump
Some unusual organisms
Were having a hump
They lived in a hole
Under the ground
And tourists would come
From miles around
To watch the
Silver Creek geyser
Explode in the air
They brought their instamatics
There were plenty of chairs
But what they thought
Was water
Pure and immaculate
Shot from these organisms
Was really ejaculate
Unknown to the tourists
It always got on their clothing
Of course if they'd known this
They'd have been
Filled with loathing
Tens of thousands
Were infected
Each year
By the strain
Of course it invaded
And took over their brains
To the outside world
They appeared like
Good nationals
Although on the inside
Not really rational
Normal by day
Deviant by dark
They set up groups
To open Silver Creek
Theme parks
By the thousands they spread
Across the whole USA
Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
On the cover of Forbes
And Money magazine
It was a big time success
The American dream

When you're up you're up
And when you're down you're down
And when you're down you're down
And when you're down you're down
And when you're down you're down
6. Know Wa'm Say'n? (3:27)
When you're at your job at home or at school
No matter what you do you seem to break some rule
Hey the music's too loud, you move in the wrong crowd
And your hair's too weird and you're clothes ain't right

Why'd you flunk that test and your room's a mess
You better straighten up you're not doing your best
You stayed out too late you didn't wash your plate
You don't pay your freight hurry up and wait

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

Hey your pants are too tight and your skirt's too short
You forgot your underwear or you shaved your hair
Hey don't act that way you can't be like that
You're too short, too tall, too thin, or too fat
Or your feet are too big or your ideas wrong
You don't fit in and you don't belong

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

You're late you're early you're not on time
Start over again at the back of the line
You're a big disgrace why can't you be like the rest
Be pleasant, wear a bra, you're clothes aren't pressed
Your mind is in the gutter gotta clean up your act
We don't know what you're thinking
But you're on the wrong track

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

Enough is a enough and the end is the end
Beginning now we're going to start a new trend
We're gonna play it loud
We're gonna pick our own crowd
Short, fat, or tall or no crowd at all
Pick our own thoughts not accept all we're taught
Question all rules challenge the schools
Stand up and be rude or maybe go nude
Register to vote throw the assholes out
Report our own news express our own TV crews
Dress how we want shaved heads or long hair
No more cop-out rules live our lives with flair
7. On the IRT (4:00)
When you're at your job at home or at school
No matter what you do you seem to break some rule
Hey the music's too loud, you move in the wrong crowd
And your hair's too weird and you're clothes ain't right

Why'd you flunk that test and your room's a mess
You better straighten up you're not doing your best
You stayed out too late you didn't wash your plate
You don't pay your freight hurry up and wait

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

Hey your pants are too tight and your skirt's too short
You forgot your underwear or you shaved your hair
Hey don't act that way you can't be like that
You're too short, too tall, too thin, or too fat
Or your feet are too big or your ideas wrong
You don't fit in and you don't belong

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

You're late you're early you're not on time
Start over again at the back of the line
You're a big disgrace why can't you be like the rest
Be pleasant, wear a bra, you're clothes aren't pressed
Your mind is in the gutter gotta clean up your act
We don't know what you're thinking
But you're on the wrong track

Well know w'am say'n get offa my case
Know w'am say'n get outta my face
Know w'am say'n you done run out of luck
Know w'am say'n we don't give a fuck

Enough is a enough and the end is the end
Beginning now we're going to start a new trend
We're gonna play it loud
We're gonna pick our own crowd
Short, fat, or tall or no crowd at all
Pick our own thoughts not accept all we're taught
Question all rules challenge the schools
Stand up and be rude or maybe go nude
Register to vote throw the assholes out
Report our own news express our own TV crews
Dress how we want shaved heads or long hair
No more cop-out rules live our lives with flair
8. Lies (3:31)
The Reality Party staged a massive demonstration in
Washington this morning following the report that 4
billion dollars was missing from the Government
fund slated to continue financing the so-called 'wars
for freedom' around the world. The Reality Party
claims that the wars are non-existent and are only
digitally synthesized. The government claims that
the missing money never existed and therefore not
missing. The Reality Party's major claim is that the
President himself is merely a synthesized composite
created through digital sampling. They point out that
no American president has been seen in person for
twelve years and that Americans are electing
nonexistent people.

Got a big hair weave
And your voice is dubbed
They fix it in the mix
If your lines are flubbed

It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies

It's new it's improved
It's really glam
But it's the same old shit
Just in a new can

It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies

A big time rip-off
Wheeling and dealing
Bodies for sale
Corporate stealing
Curvaceous cuties
Show those dimples
Air-brushed flesh
Hide those pimples
Glossy sex
Not a flaw
A fabrication
No one ever saw
Perfect hard-ons
Perfect breasts
No BO
No PMS

It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies

Arms for hostages
Cultural atrocities
Virgins for preachers
Where's the veracity?
Bought politicians
Package design
Like dog food
Or mouthwash
All image no mind
Hollywood finish
Designed to hide
The empty vacuum
Living inside

It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies
It's lies all lies it's lies

'We did not, repeat, did not trade
Weapons or anything else for
Hostages nor will we.'
9. La La Land (3:20)
When I was 17
I took a plane to the coast
I took my friend Ronda
'Cause she's really the most
We were cruising the strip
You Sunset and Peco
And in less than five minutes
We met a guy named Rico
He drove up to the curb
In a chopped Rolls Royce
He had a tan from a bottle
And a radio voice
'Yo, banana, are you ready to ill?'
And he took us to a party
In Beverly Hills

On the way over
We stopped at the beach
Rico went in
For a tea bag named Leach
He was ready he was comin'
He was ready to go
He said 'Didn't I meet you in Monte Carlo?'
When we got to the party
The butler opened the door
And I knew that I'd seen him
Somewhere before
It was Shirley McClain
Dressed up as a man
She said 'Om Shanti,
Welcome to La La Land'

Ooma rama ooma rama

Vanna White was there
And they were playing a game
But the numbers on the wheel
Were all the same
I didn't see Jerry Falwell
Or Jessica Hahn
But I was told they were upstairs
Getting it on
Hugh Heffner arrived
With a bunch of skeezers
The Chippendale dancers
Were real crowd pleasers
The Duke and Duchess of Windsor
Were really nice
They brought some underground films
Of Gary Hart and Donna Rice
In Beverly Hills they refuse to be beat
So it was Chicken McNuggets
All you can eat
On the scene that night
Was a blond guy name Jock
He screamed the crowd
'Are you ready to rock?'
Rock, rock, rock, what?

'Oh yea, oh yea' they said
Waiving they're hands
'I give you Ultrafly,
Number one in the land'
I stepped up to the mike
And delivered my weapon
And La La Land
Was transfixed in a second

Ooma, ooma, ooma

From Frisco to Tiajuana
They were feeling my jam
And those that felt it
Know I am what I am
I delivered so heavy like not other assault
I move the earthquake meters
On the San Andreas fault
When morning came
We were still going strong
But our flight left at noon
I had to break from the throng
Mary Heart was screaming
'Outta sight, outta sight'
They were shooting the party
For Entertainment Tonight
They wanted me to stay
And host the show
But I had a jam in NYC
And I had to go
Besides it's not my thing
To be a co-host
And that's the story
Of my first trip to the coast

Ooma, ooma rama, ooma rama, ra ra ra rama
10. Laffing 'n' Scratching (2:01)
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